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Anorexia

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Life is waiting for me, as it is for you

To this day, my relationship with food is a complex one, but I am very much of the belief that next year will be better, and the year after that will be even better.

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"I've not only gained weight; I've gained happiness"

I want to shed some light on diet culture and what it drove me to do to myself for eight years. I will never get those eight years back, but what I do know is that I will never put myself through all the self-inflicted pain it took in order to look a certain way.

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Let the Light In

In the present chaos of COVID-19, I write these words from my own personal story as a reminder to your precious self that there is light in the midst of the uncertainty, confusion and calamity.

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An Atypical Anorexia Sufferer Visits the Supermarket

These two posts, written two years apart, show how Mel managed to overcome a lot of the anxiety she felt around shopping for food.

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Coping with dating (read 'rejection') in recovery

After a good three years of recovery from anorexia, my first thought whenever someone rejects me is: 'I wonder if they'd like me if I were thinner.'

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"I love myself more than I ever did"

I’ve worked tirelessly in day care, private therapy and on my own to get as “recovered” as I can possibly be. I wasn’t content with surviving with an eating disorder. To me the mental torture and confines are the worst part, so a healthy body without a quality of life was not enough.

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Trapped in a cage wanting to be free

I believe no matter how hard it may be there will always be a way out. You don’t need anorexia to define who you are. It's okay to let it go.

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"Instead of directing anger at others, I directed it at myself"

My eating disorder, anorexia nervosa, started off in 2012 when I was at university. I was having flashbacks and nightmares; I felt very vulnerable.

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In a world of uncontrollable it was something she could control

This young lady has an eating disorder and it's about time I stop being ashamed and hiding away.

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Committed to Recovery

I realised that in the past I did want to get better and be recovered but I wasn’t ready to face the fear, to accept the changes and battle against my eating disorder.

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My body deserves all the nourishment, love and care in the world

Sometimes, I look back at my young, innocent, happy, fit, strong, healthy, beautiful self and I wonder why I ever wanted to be anything else. Now I wish above anything to have this back.

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Ana is not a friend

There were two of me – there was Ana (the anorexia) and then there was the real me. I felt like I was being controlled by Ana, and the more food I ate the more my own personality came back.

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