We know that Christmas can be a really difficult time of year for many people with eating disorders. For some people, spending the day around food-focused gatherings with family or friends may feel overwhelming. And for others who may be spending the day alone, they may feel isolated which may trigger eating disorder behaviours.
Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas yourself, it can be hard to avoid increased food talk, and the sense that this time should be spent having fun may make people feel isolated and pressured.
The information on this page is to help you address some of the concerns you might have, and make plans to take care of your wellbeing.
It’s a good idea to talk with people you trust about any concerns and what they can do to support you during the run-up to Christmas and Christmas itself. Also remember that our Helpline is here for you this Christmas; you can see our up-to-date opening hours on our Helpline page.
It’s almost impossible to get away from food-focused talk at this time of year, and this along with potential encouragement by others to “indulge” can be stressful and upsetting. It may create additional pressure to eat a different amount of food, new foods, or cause increased worry about engaging in eating disorder behaviours.
You may find you can minimise exposure from adverts and supermarket aisles in the run-up to Christmas by, for example, using an adblocker online, or asking someone else to do the shopping.
Thinking about what you’ll eat on Christmas day and other meals ahead of time might help. You can talk about the things that are worrying you and how to address them with your loved ones. Some people find that agreeing on the food you’ll be eating, what time meals will be, portion sizes and who else will be there can help, as it means you know what to expect, and don’t have to make decisions on the spot.
Having a practice meal might be useful too, particularly if there are new foods or textures that you’re unsure of. You could try slowly introducing any foods that you would like to have on Christmas day, so that it feels less daunting on the day.
Anxieties might be worse if the table is covered in food, so keeping some food elsewhere, or even serving the meal fully away from the table could help. You may feel less “watched” if you’re having different food or portions and have less concern about food being added to your plate without you asking.
Think about what would be most comfortable if food is being served. The trend might be for people to serve themselves, or for one person to dish up everyone’s meals, but think about what would make you most comfortable – you could speak to someone supportive about what you feel able to eat and have them get your food for you, copy their portion if you’d rather serve yourself but aren’t sure what to have, or just have them come with you while you serve yourself if you’d find their presence helpful. Remember, it’s also okay if you have your own meal different to what everyone else is having.
Distractions during meals, like having music on can help, too. You may also find it helpful to think of distractions for after the meal, as this is when the urge to binge or get rid of food eaten may be particularly present – plan any distractions in advance and consider having post-meal conversation or activities away from the table.
The idea of sitting at the table for hours can feel overwhelming. If you are sitting at the table, it may help to agree on an amount of time to spend there, and when to leave.
It can help to talk through things like traditional stocking fillers and whether they should be part of Christmas this year. If you’re worried about being given food-based gifts, for example by people who aren’t aware of the eating disorder, you could talk with someone you trust about what you’d like to do with these before opening presents.
Eating a meal around others can be really difficult, especially at this time of year when meals like Christmas dinner can often be seen as particularly important or special.
It might help to give your loved ones information to help them understand more about eating disorders and what you would find useful.
Knowing who will be there as part of planning the day can help you feel more prepared.
You could agree on a sign to discreetly show if you need support and encouragement, either during a meal or socially, e.g. playing with a tangle-toy/phone above the table.
Lots of talk around food at this time of year can be difficult to hear.
It can help to have someone tell loved ones not to comment on your appearance, or what/how much food you’re eating, as this can be upsetting no matter how well-intentioned they may be.
You or someone supporting you may also want to request that others not offer you additional food, , so you can have the most enjoyable day possible. It’s up to you how much information you share with them about this.
You may want to think about other topics of conversation you can turn to if there’s a lot of talk around food – perhaps you could discuss these with a supportive person so they can step in if the conversation turns to topics you find difficult.
Having food in the house for the festive period, perhaps that you normally wouldn’t buy, can feel quite overwhelming. It might be worth talking this through with the people you are with at Christmas to help make it feel less daunting. Having a plan of where food will be in the house or whether foods you may struggle with will or will not be left out might be helpful.
It might be worth thinking about making a plan around early warning signs for things like binges, possible triggers, distraction techniques, and support you might need if you feel the urge to engage in any eating disorder behaviours. Planning these things ahead of time and talking it through with your support network could allow you to feel more prepared.
Christmas is a really special time for many people, and if you have fond memories of Christmas, feeling like the eating disorder is disrupting that can be really difficult.
Try to think about the things that you may find enjoyable, such as films, games, or decorating. Making the day more about these may make it feel more manageable.
It could help to read our information about managing difficult emotions, so that you can make plans for how to take care of yourself depending on how you’re feeling.
Think about whether you could start (or whether you already have) a Christmas tradition that isn’t centred around food. This could be volunteering, something involving arts and crafts, a creative game – what talents and abilities could you use in different ways?
People with eating disorders often mention that they can feel a sense of guilt around the impact of their eating issues on others, especially at Christmas time. We’ve had positive feedback from families that suggest that doing things differently and promoting ‘connection’, ‘communication’ and ‘enjoyment’ at Christmas (that is not centred around food) has actually improved the experience of the whole family. We would encourage you to see this change in a positive way and try to avoid blaming yourself. It can be so hard when the feeling of guilt is overwhelming. If you are struggling with this feeling, try to reach out for support and talk it through with someone.
If you're worried about feeling lonely or isolated this Christmas, or are spending the festive period alone, remember to look after yourself.
Spending time alone over the festive period may trigger eating disorder behaviours. You may find it helpful to try and stick to your usual routine. It might be helpful to think in advance about what activities you could do to distract yourself. Think of ways you can pass the time, like doing something creative, watching a favourite film or tv show or going for a walk.
Spending Christmas alone can be difficult, and seeing other people posting their Christmases on social media might not feel helpful. Remember, social media is often a highlight reel, and it's okay to spend your day differently. Be gentle with yourself and do what brings you a sense of comfort. This might mean taking a break from social media, or reaching out to someone you trust through a message or call. Use the day in a way that fills your cup!
Remember, our Helpline is here for you over the festive period. If you’re feeling lonely, you can join one of our online support groups during the week and chat to others who are going through what you’re going through.
Mind has some information and links to organisations that support people who are affected by loneliness that may be helpful.
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