As a teenager, I know how annoying it can be to constantly hear phrases like ‘get off your phone!’ and to have things blamed on social media by your parents. However, it wasn’t until I first came into eating disorder treatment that I realised how much the media had altered my judgements, bruised my self-worth, and completely obliterated my perception of what a healthy body looked like. No matter how much I denied the affect social media had on me at the time, it was completely stripping me of any sense of self while I struggled with anorexia.
It all started when I was bullied. I would beg my Mum to let me download the latest app as ‘everyone else’ had it and I couldn’t join in at lunch when they all talked about the latest reels. When she finally gave in, I was immediately subjected to messages setting out unfair body expectations, average body weights, and people’s views on the amount of food we should be eating in a day. I started to compare myself to others online, and in real life. It became an obsession that I couldn’t escape, fed by the social media giants and influencers.
This slowly ate away at my confidence, making me very vulnerable to any form of criticism. Social media was slowly polluting my brain, filling it with unrealistic expectations, but I only craved more. It was like a drug to my eating disorder, I just needed more and more hits. I completely idolised creators and obsessed over their ‘perfect bodies’.
As you can imagine, it became very overwhelming. Food and my body image consumed my every thought. So, I did one of the most challenging, bravest things I’ve ever done: I asked for help. My amazing Mum got me a place for anorexia treatment in our local eating disorder service, where I was shown how ill I really was and the what I needed to do to get better.
Even though recovery seemed impossible at the beginning, I made one decision which had a huge effect on my recovery. I decided to tackle the social media content head on by filtering out key words, blocking creators who were making pro-anorexia content, and managing my screen time with the help of my Mum. At first, I craved the blocked content. All I wanted to do was unblock everything and fall back into the intoxicating world of heavily edited photo’s and video’s, all of which backed up my eating disorder voice and just made sense. But the longer I went without these unrealistic ideals, the ‘perfect body’ goals, the less imperfect I began to feel. The hold of the influencers released me and I felt freer, more able to see my body as it was, not as it ‘should’ be. I was less angry and frustrated and readier than ever to get better.
It was really important that I made this decision myself, and I look back now and can see how instrumental it all was to my recovery. It helped me to feel clean, and not worrying about content that might trigger me was such a relief.
There’s no denying how toxic social media can be, especially for young, developing minds, but you can take positive steps to prevent yourself being negatively affected, and it really does make a difference.
I’ve been watching the changes around social media for under 16’s in Australia, and the response from the UK Government. Some might call the decision controversial, but I personally believe it could be a positive step in the UK towards better mental health for teenagers. If none of my friends had social media, I don’t think I’d miss it at all.
As a Mum, it’s been so hard watching Rose work through this battle with anorexia. One thing I’ve learned is that some things in life are out of my control, and I just have to work with what we have. Being happy with the small wins is a great place to be.
When Rose chose to block and filter her social media, I believe it was one of the most mature, responsible decisions she’s ever made. It took such great presence of mind and I am so proud of her. She showed me the content that was being targeted towards her and I was truly shocked. We reported it but the social media companies did nothing. They came back to say that it didn’t violate their standards and left it up for anyone to view.
Just as I’ve learned that some things in life are outside of my control, I’ve also learned that some things are very much within our control, and Rose’s decision to take control of her feed is a powerful example. But I don’t think that children should have to control what they see online. Inappropriate content shouldn’t be available to them in the first place. Having to be mature and responsible enough to block content that is feeding an incredibly complex, awful illness, should not a child’s problem.
Social media companies make billions each year and they could absolutely choose to spend some of this on monitoring their platforms more responsibly. But they’ve proven time and time again that they won’t. They’ll let children (and adults) suffer so that they can make money.
It’s unrealistic to expect society to devolve away from technology, and there are many positives to accessing a phone as a teenager: staying connected with your friends, as a security measure when out with friends, as a homework tool. But we need to make a change that protects children online now. Too much damage is being done.
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