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"Now I am living"

I wake up each morning
I take a deep breath
I sit there and listen
To thoughts in my head. 

I count all the numbers
I refuse the food
A constant behaviour
That controls my mood.

I hear all my loved ones
Keep asking me “why?”
Still I sit there in silence
Tears flow from my eyes.

'Till one day it happens
Slowly but sure
I pluck up the courage
And open the door. 

At first I am scared
Confused and afraid
But something tells me
That I'll be okay.

Before I was sitting
Trying just to survive
But now I am living
Now I'm alive.

Contributed by Lauren


18 July 2019

Recovery must be your choice, the one you must make despite the eating disorder feeling like your only friend, this is not real, it’s an illusion, it’s all fake.

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11 July 2019

At school her best friend called her fat. She took up a measuring tape and that was that.

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I decided to take the risk and it’s been the best decision yet.

5 April 2019

Completing my A levels was hard. I soon became obsessed with revision and control, not feeling like I had ever done enough or was enough.

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