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Anorexia

All stories

I first learned what a calorie was before I started nursery school. Not a unit of energy, not something we need to keep us alive, but something to evade, something dangerous that hid in food and was to be avoided at all costs

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To this day, my relationship with food is a complex one, but I am very much of the belief that next year will be better, and the year after that will be even better.

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The first time my mum worried I might have an eating disorder, I was 12. I was a competitive athlete, and a knee injury prevented me from training. I was terrified of gaining weight – I’d been afraid of being ‘fat’ throughout my childhood.

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When lockdown came into force – what seems like a whole lifetime ago – I struggled. Like many people who experience eating problems, I felt so threatened by the changes in routine, the limited availability of certain foods, the massive uncertainty of it all

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I want to shed some light on diet culture and what it drove me to do to myself for eight years. I will never get those eight years back, but what I do know is that I will never put myself through all the self-inflicted pain it took in order to look a certain way.

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10 June 2020

Let the Light In

In the present chaos of COVID-19, I write these words from my own personal story as a reminder to your precious self that there is light in the midst of the uncertainty, confusion and calamity.

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These two posts, written two years apart, show how Mel managed to overcome a lot of the anxiety she felt around shopping for food.

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I have suffered with anorexia for about 2 1/2 years now, and the descent into the disorder was very fast and absolutely devastating.

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The right support and information helps family and loved ones understand, so they can provide the love and care needed for everyone.

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I feel very lucky to have found a support group – but it would have been wonderful if this had been available more locally.

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You just have to remember to be there for them when they need you and gently nudge them in the right direction.

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