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You have to learn how to live again and, like with any lessons, you often have to fail to learn the best way or the right way...
In the past I’ve wanted to hide the eating disorders that are part of my history, but I want to shout from the rooftops: I'm proud of how far I had come!
When lockdown came into force – what seems like a whole lifetime ago – I struggled. Like many people who experience eating problems, I felt so threatened by the changes in routine, the limited availability of certain foods, the massive uncertainty of it all
I want to shed some light on diet culture and what it drove me to do to myself for eight years. I will never get those eight years back, but what I do know is that I will never put myself through all the self-inflicted pain it took in order to look a certain way.
These are hugely uncertain times we live in right now. It is hard to make sense of all the information in the media and to take measures to protect our own mental health.
I feel very lucky to have found a support group – but it would have been wonderful if this had been available more locally.
Rewind to a few years ago. On the surface, I was a happy 26-year-old who seemed to have her life all worked out... Yet underneath, I was coming up to my tenth year battling bulimia.
Before being diagnosed as having bulimia, I was a happy teenager full of life and always loved going out. Before the diagnosis, I had no clue about eating disorders.
I realised that in the past I did want to get better and be recovered but I wasn’t ready to face the fear, to accept the changes and battle against my eating disorder.
After looking back on the years of my life that were taken due to my eating disorder, I realise how much I now love my life and want to keep recovering every day.
Bulimia isn’t a disease or bug you just get over by taking antibiotics. It is a mental illness that takes over.
I won’t go into the reason why I developed bulimia because I want to focus on recovery. I was diagnosed at age 35, and I had developed it as a teen. Roughly 18 – 20 years of malnutrition and semi-starvation.