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If I could speak to myself at each of the pivotal moments in my illness, starting when my anorexia developed after my 16th birthday, this is what I'd say.
I woke up a few years back with a voice in my head, at first, I thought it was my friend but over time it filled me with dread.
If you ran a marathon without any shoes on you certainly wouldn’t win, so don’t punish yourself if you’ve had setbacks because of an eating disorder.
I don't recall booking a flight for two, but there you were, firmly planted into the seat next to me.
Dr Pooky Knightsmith Hesmondhalgh, a Child and Adolescent Mental Health Specialist shares a recent post from her own blog.
Some would be shocked and consider it a waste of NHS money if I told you I spent some sessions just sobbing or in angry silence, but that was what I needed.
My story begins when I was 16 with a motivation to shift a few pounds to look ‘slimmer’ in prom photos. It became a monster of an eating disorder.
So I'm visiting the place where, in one respect, it all ended but, in another, where it all began.
It was a shock to be diagnosed with anorexia at the age of 32. I wasn’t a teenager, I didn’t see myself as skinny, I was still eating.
I cannot cut food out of my life cold turkey, but I can manage the situation now. And for me, that management came through honesty, openness and sharing.
Anorexia isn’t the same for everyone, & whilst the majority of patients share negative attitudes towards food, it doesn’t manifest itself in the same ways.
I kept noticing all these small things that were building up over time, all the things that were indicating I was firmly on my way to recovery.