Tools to support yourself at Christmas

Here are some tools designed to support your wellbeing and recovery over the Christmas period. Helping you manage challenges around food, routines, and emotions while feeling more grounded and prepared for the season as we know that it can be a challenging time if you’re affected by an eating disorder.

Meal Planning:

Plan ahead for what feels manageable for you to eat over Christmas — you might find it helpful to create this plan with a trusted loved one. This could include Christmas Day or any of the surrounding festive occasions that involve food, helping you feel more prepared and supported.

Christmas Card:

This Christmas card can be shared with the people you’ll be spending the holidays with to help them understand how they can best support you during this time. You can adapt it to suit your own situation — you might like to print a copy or handwrite and decorate it yourself, which could also serve as a calming and creative distraction activity.

To …………………………..

You are invited to share Christmas with us this year, however I need to let you know about some of the difficulties I will have and I would appreciate it if you could help me.

I have an eating disorder, and I am trying to recover. An eating disorder is a mental health condition that means I have difficulties in expressing my emotions and I have obsessions around food and weight. These are my ways to cope with feelings. I am trying to learn to cope with feelings in more helpful ways, but I may find Christmas very difficult.

It would be very helpful if you could/could not do the following:

• Do not comment on my appearance in any way.
• Do not watch me eat or comment on what I am/am not eating.
• Do not talk in my earshot about your own weight or that you will need to diet after Christmas.
• Please do not try to encourage me to eat more or offer me chocolates etc. I have planned the day and what I will eat with my Mum/Dad/partner/friend to ensure that I can manage and enjoy the day.
• I may disappear for a while after the meal to try to cope with my feelings. When I am full my eating disorder thoughts and anxiety run riot.
• Please do not talk about exercise as this may trigger me to want to do it.
• Please talk to me about achievements that you have done at work, things on TV, hobbies and interests
• I may eat more slowly than everyone else. If I take a long time, the next course may be served to you before I’ve finished
• Please help me after the meal to take my mind off what I have eaten. This might be to suggest that we play a game, watch a film or go for a short walk
• I want everyone to enjoy themselves at Christmas and I know I can if I do not feel overwhelmed by the food. Although a lot of people place a lot of emphasis on food and drink at Christmas, I’d like it to be more about meeting friends and family and enjoying everyone's company during the festive period

Love and season’s greetings:

……………………………………..

SMART Goals:

Setting a SMART goal can help you break things down into smaller, more achievable steps. Over the Christmas period, this might involve using your meal planner, sharing your plans with a loved one using your card, and thinking about the practical ways you can work towards your goal.

SPECIFIC

When setting goals, try to be as clear as possible about what you want to achieve.

For example:

• Instead of saying “I want to eat well on Christmas Day,” you might set a specific goal like “I will eat breakfast with my family on Christmas morning.”
• Break the goal into smaller, manageable steps so it feels achievable — for instance, planning what breakfast might look like (safe foods?), who you’ll eat with (safe person?), and how you’ll manage any difficult thoughts or emotions (distractions?).

Being specific helps you stay focused, track progress, and feel a greater sense of control during the festive season.

MEASURABLE

Think about how you’ll know when you’ve achieved what you set out to do.

For example:

• Ask yourself what you’ll see, feel, or do differently when you’ve reached your goal.
• You might notice you’re eating a particular meal more regularly, spending less time worrying about food, or engaging more in festive activities.
• Consider what others might notice — perhaps you’re more relaxed at mealtimes or joining in conversations more easily.
• Think about what you’ll have started doing consistently (like using coping mechanisms or your meal plan) and what you’ll have reduced or stopped (such as engaging in eating disorder behaviours).

Making your goal measurable helps you recognise your progress and celebrate the small, meaningful changes you’re achieving this Christmas.

ACHIEVABLE

It’s important to ensure your goals are realistic and attainable. Setting goals that are too high can leave you feeling frustrated or like you’ve failed, which can be discouraging.

• Consider breaking bigger goals into smaller, manageable steps. These smaller goals can act as milestones on the way to your larger objective, making the process feel more achievable.
• Take time to celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Recognising progress helps build confidence and motivation.
• If you don’t achieve a goal, try to reflect on what happened. Ask yourself what could be done differently, what might make it more likely to succeed next time, and how you can adjust your approach without being self-critical.

Focusing on achievable goals allows you to maintain a sense of control, positivity, and wellbeing throughout the festive season while supporting your recovery journey.

REALISTIC & RESOURCED

It’s important to make sure your goals are realistic given the resources, support, and circumstances you have. Goals that aren’t realistic can leave you feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or discouraged, so thinking through what’s possible is an important step.

• Start by asking yourself: Is this goal achievable with the resources and support I currently have? Consider your time, energy, emotional capacity, and any practical tools or strategies you already use.
• Identify if there are any additional resources or support that could help you achieve your goal, such as a supportive friend or family member, a meal plan, coping strategies, or professional guidance. Then plan how you can access these resources to make your goal more attainable.
• Think ahead to potential challenges or obstacles you might face. What could make achieving your goal difficult? For each challenge, consider strategies to minimise or manage the problem so that setbacks don’t derail your progress.

TIME LIMITED

It’s important to give yourself a reasonable time frame for achieving them. This helps create structure and a sense of progress.

• Consider whether your goal is short-term (like 1 week), medium-term (1 month or 6 months), or long-term (1 year or more).
• For larger goals, break them into smaller steps, each with its own timeline, so the process feels more manageable and less overwhelming.
• Having a clear time limit allows you to track progress, celebrate milestones, and adjust your approach if needed, helping you stay on course during the festive season.

By keeping your goals realistic and planning for challenges, you give yourself a better chance of success while reducing stress and maintaining a sense of control and wellbeing during the festive season.