We know that a supportive community can be really helpful for those going through eating disorder recovery themselves, or while supporting a loved one. This could be an eating disorder support group (such as our weekly online groups), your family system, friends, workplace, sports or hobby clubs, or online spaces.
But, with so many different kinds of communities around, sometimes it can be difficult to spot what is a supportive community, and one that would hinder your recovery. With online spaces being more accessible than in-person groups, we’ve teamed up with First Steps ED to give you some tips on how to find safe communities online to support you:
A supportive community can look like anything – and crucially, doesn’t have to be about eating disorders.
Safe online communities can be through social media, on forum pages, in support groups and websites.
On Facebook, you can search for topics that groups may have been set up for, to support. For example, you could search for “ARFID parent support group”. A lot of these groups are private, so you may potentially need to read the rules of the group and fill out a few questions, before being accepted.
Find out what's happening near you by searching social media groups for your local area. You may also be able to find this information through your local council’s webpages. From these channels, you can find announcements, events, clubs and volunteering opportunities you can join.
Take a look at ticketing websites such as Eventbrite to find one off or regular classes, clubs and workshops you can attend.
Ask your friends what groups they’re in – and whether you can join! A lot of groups exist in places you can chat together online, such as Discord, WhatsApp, Facebook or Instagram groups, Teams etc. Just ask if someone can add you to the group, and then the rest is history!
At Beat, we have our weekly online support groups for those with an eating disorder. These are led by our Helpline advisors, who lead a topic each week, to support attendees towards recovery. Our online support groups work a bit like a chatroom, with anonymous names for each participant, and each response is also moderated by our Helpline advisors to keep everyone safe and feeling supported.
First Steps ED offer their fantastic Befriending service, where you can be in regular contact with a volunteer who can provide advice and resources to support you. Over a 6-to-9-month period, you can contact your Befriender via email, phone or video to build your skills and confidence towards recovery.
Our friends at ARFID Awareness UK have their own ARFID Facebook group, which has lots of information and advice for those with ARFID, their parents and loved ones, student researchers & medical professionals.
Now that you’ve got some ideas of how to find an online community for you, go through our checklist to make sure it will be supportive and safe towards your recovery:
If this community appears to exclude groups (except for safe spaces such as women-only groups), they may not be a safe place for people to express themselves. Being able to express your pronouns or your identity freely in this group is a good indicator that this will be a supportive group of who you are.
For a lot of online groups, there are typically rules about the photos you can share or language you can use. For example, we highlight our ground rules to anyone joining our weekly support groups before the session begins. They're there to help create a safe, respectful space and to support the wellbeing of everyone in the community.
These rules may be like ours: you should not share any identifiable information about yourself or where you live; you cannot share before and after photos; no mentions of weight, amounts or measurements.
For some groups, this might be simple – in a book club, you may meet monthly to discuss your latest reading, as well as catching up on how people are doing. For other groups, these might be led by discussions or posts when people feel like they want to say something.
When you know why your community meets and how they do that – through video calls, groups chats or forums – you know how to join in while keeping yourself happy and safe.
If you can’t find a community that’s right for you, or you’d just like to create your own, it’s easy to set one up yourself – especially online!
Remember, this doesn’t need to be a group that centres around eating disorder recovery. We know that when you have an eating disorder, it can feel like they have taken over your life – taking away the things you enjoy. So, it’s important to reconnect the things you used to enjoy or discover new things to fill that space.
Once you’ve picked your platform to host your community – on a social media page, a website, a forum, Discord, Zoom / Teams / Google Meet etc – here are some things to think about when creating your group:
Make it clear about what your community is all about! Do you want this to be a space for people to connect with similar interests? To share their experiences and what might have helped them? A more interest-based focus such as a book club, a knit & natter group, gaming group, yoga classes, etc.
Look at what other groups have as rules to get some inspiration. This may include being respectful to everyone, not mentioning weight / measurements / sizes etc, not using hateful language, etc.
Even if your group isn’t specifically about eating disorder support, you may want to know where you can point people if they do reach out for help.
If someone expresses that they are struggling with an eating disorder, we recommend having on hand some organisations and places that you can point people to. If people are looking for support for other mental health issues, you can show them our ‘I need support now’ webpage, which lists other organisations that may be useful.
If you feel like a community you’re a part of is encouraging eating disorder behaviours, not supporting you towards recovery, or making things feel harder, remember that it’s ok to remove yourself from that space. Online, this can be as simple as unfollowing or blocking a page. You can also unfavourite a webpage to help avoid visiting it automatically.
If you have seen something on a community that has upset you or feels triggering, take some time away from your phone or computer to focus on getting back into a good headspace. This could be breathing exercises, grounding techniques, speaking to trusted friends and family to express your feelings, journaling your thoughts, or doing something that you find relaxing – watching TV, reading, crafting or self-care.
After leaving a group that isn’t supporting your recovery, the pointers above can help you find a safe space where you feel safer and more supported. Remember, you don't have to face this alone!