Coping with birthday parties and other celebrations

Sometimes, our calendars can feel full of invitations to events like birthday parties, weddings and family get-togethers.

While it’s lovely to have the chance to spend time with our loved ones, these kinds of events can be challenging if you have an eating disorder as they can often be centred around food. Below, we’ve put together some information and advice about how to navigate parties and celebrations if you have an eating disorder.

What might be difficult?

Many celebrations have aspects that are centred around food, such as birthday cakes or meals out to celebrate exam results or a new job. This can present the following challenges:

• Changes in routine around food and access to different foods can upset your routine or cause increased anxiety
• Being around or eating in front of different people than you’re used to can also cause anxiety, especially if you’re concerned they may make comments about your appearance or eating habits
• Comparing yourself to others and their eating behaviours
• Feeling disconnected or different because your needs may be different than those of the people around you

What can I do?

It’s understandable that you’d feel worried about these kinds of events, but there are a few things you can try to make attending them easier:

• Plan ahead: it may be helpful to find out what’s being served by looking at menus or asking what food will be available. This means you’ll know what to expect and you don’t need to make decisions on the spot
• It can also help to ask someone else to remind friends and family members not to comment on your appearance or the food you’re eating
• Distractions like having music on or conversations that don’t revolve around food
• Use calming techniques such as breathing exercises
• You could agree on a signal to discreetly show a trusted friend or family member that you need support
• Consider not sitting at the table for a long time if that’s possible – after the meal has finished, you can continue socialising away from the table
• Don’t be afraid to take some time to yourself! If you need some time on your own, just say you’re going to pop out for 10 minutes and take yourself into a different room

It’s important to remember that everyone is different, and what works for one person might not work for another. Always remember that you deserve to be in any room you enter and that your needs matter.

Practice self-care and self-compassion before, during and after any event that makes you feel nervous – and know that we’re here for you at Beat. Our Helplines are open 3pm to 8pm every weekday, and you can contact us via phone, e-mail, webchat or letter.