Eating disorders are often described in terms of food, weight, and control. However, many people experience something less frequently talked about: a deep sense of loneliness and disconnection. This research summary shares some of what we know so far about how social relationships shape people’s experiences of eating disorders and recovery.
Compiled for Beat Eating Disorders by Dr Niamh McNamara
Social connection isn’t just about being around others or having a lot of friends. It’s about feeling that you belong, that you are understood, and that you matter. Social Psychologists suggest that alongside our personal identity (that is, those traits and characteristics that make us unique), we also have multiple social identities. Each of these is associated with a social group that has some form of value and meaning to us (e.g., family, community, sports group, support group, etc.). When we feel connected to these groups, it can enhance our physical and mental health [1]. On the other hand, when we feel like we don’t fit in, or who we are clashes with those around us, it can lead to loneliness and distress [2,3]. Loneliness, particularly chronic loneliness, can have very serious consequences for both our physical and mental health [4].
Eating disorders are profoundly social conditions. Loneliness is not only common among people living with an eating disorder but is also predictive of symptom severity and relapse [5,6]. While loneliness can precede the development of an eating disorder, a vicious cycle can emerge in which eating behaviours are used to cope with the loneliness that accompanies the illness. Over time, these behaviours can intensify feelings of isolation and disconnection, reinforcing the very difficulties they were initially intended to manage. Recovery itself can also be a time where people struggle with feelings of loneliness as they are faced with the challenge of transitioning away from the illness and (re)establishing a new sense of identity and purpose [7,2]. Research has shown that those who are fully recovered show much lower levels of loneliness than those who are actively ill [5]. This suggests that building meaningful social connections in recovery may be an important area to target as part of care pathways.
Recovery from an eating disorder is rarely straightforward. It can involve setbacks, uncertainty, and moments of ambivalence. What is clear from research is that recovery involves letting go of the identity and coping strategies that have shaped how someone understands themselves and navigates the world [2]. This task of reimagining who you are and how you relate to others can be one of the most challenging aspects of recovery. Social support, especially when it is grounded in shared identity, trust, and understanding, is essential [2]. Peers who are also on a recovery journey can be well-placed to provide the “right” kind of support that is empathetic, inspires hope and motivation, and alleviates isolation [2]. This is especially important for people who feel emotionally disconnected from or misunderstood by other people in their lives – even when those people are well-meaning in their support. Peer groups can also help to reimagine recovery so that it is thought of, not as a return to “normal”, but as reclaiming a life that is meaningful and where the person is no longer defined by their illness [2]. Recovery groups are most effective when they are inclusive, encourage openness with others, and promote recovery-compatible beliefs and values [2,3,8].
While peers can help people in recovery feel understood and less alone, it is important to recognise that other important relationships can also provide empathetic support. Family members, health professionals, and friends can offer meaningful support when they listen without judgment, avoid minimising the person’s experiences, show consistent care (even when the person experiences setbacks), and respect the person's autonomy and emotional needs [9]. This aligns with research showing that family might be an especially helpful group for many in recovery, including adults [10]. Identifying with one’s family group – feeling a sense of belonging and shared identity – is linked to lower feelings of loneliness, reduced eating disorder symptom severity, and better coping during times of extreme stress (e.g., during the COVID-19 pandemic). Families who are well-supported themselves can be a vital part of the recovery process.
Recovery-specific support offers understanding and hope during a transitional period when leaving behind an illness identity can feel overwhelming [2]. However, research suggests that long-term wellbeing is strengthened when people broaden their social network. Belonging to diverse communities (groups that differ in purpose, membership, and identity) is linked to lower loneliness and greater well-being [11]. Group diversity matters because it provides multiple sources of meaning and support, and it can spark creativity and new ways of thinking — both of which help people feel more connected [11]. Importantly, research shows that we are most likely to feel a sense of belonging when we join groups that reflect our own values and interests [1]. These communities might include:
It can be challenging to join a new group, so it is always best to start small: join an online forum, attend a local class, or explore community groups that feel safe and positive. Joining a group where you already know someone can make the first step feel easier, and asking a friend to come along can help break the ice. If that’s not possible, you could start by exploring local options through community organisations or by asking your GP about NHS Social Prescribing. These services can point you towards groups in your area and even offer friendly support to help you join if you’d like a bit of extra reassurance.
Eating disorder recovery is complex, personal and deeply social. Building connections and (re)discovering an identity beyond the illness is an important part of recovery and longer-term health and well-being. In terms of what helps most, recovery is supported when people:
Ultimately, recovery is made possible not just through treatment but through relationships that help people feel seen, supported, and connected to something beyond the illness.
We asked someone with lived experience what this research means to them. Read what they said below
“Eating disorders can be incredibly lonely, and most people understand that already. But what’s talked about far less is how lonely recovery can be, especially when, like me, you don’t necessarily look the way people expect someone with an eating disorder to look.
For a long time, my ED defined a lot of what I could and couldn’t do in life, and therefore it’s not surprising that it was a big part of my identity. Recovery can feel like a loss of that identity, and that can feel really scary.
But today I can see that my recovery was about moving away from something that doesn’t serve me, towards things that do. For me, that means time with friends, my theatre group, wild swimming, writing, nature, and music. In other words, the things that bring me real joy and fulfilment.
The more spaces I can be in, the more I build communities around me, the more solid I feel in myself. And the less room there is for the eating disorder to take hold again. Recovery for me meant reconnecting: to my body, to other people, to a meaningful life that feels like my own.
Eating disorder support absolutely needs to include a focus on social connection because eating disorders thrive in isolation, and recovery depends on feeling understood, accepted and part of something bigger than the illness. I also think more carefully considering how to provide peer support - particularly for those of us on outpatient care paths - will be a gamechanger in the future.
P.S: I can see how this may also link to research on the intersection between EDs and neurodivergence, as it can be harder to form social connections when we feel (and often are, in some ways) different to ‘the norm’, so this can make ND folk (such as myself) more vulnerable to mental illness.”