Nicole's story - ADHD, Bipolar Disorder and Eating Disorders

I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 34, but my struggles started long before that.

As a teenager, I was active, confident, and full of energy. From the outside, everything looked fine, but over time my relationship with my body and myself began to change. When I entered my first serious relationship, comments about my appearance triggered something much deeper than I understood at the time. What started as self-consciousness quickly grew into something more consuming. I became fixated on changing myself, and gradually things began to spin.

After around 18 months, I reached out to my GP and was diagnosed with anorexia. That diagnosis was a turning point. With support from healthcare professionals, I was able to recover physically and begin rebuilding my life. It wasn’t easy, but it showed me that change was possible, even when things felt overwhelming.

Not long after, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Starting medication brought a new set of challenges, and over time I began to experience behaviours and patterns that I didn’t fully understand. I felt like I had lost control again, but in a completely different way. It was confusing and frustrating, and no matter what I tried, I couldn’t seem to find stability.

Years later, I came to recognise that what I had been experiencing was binge eating disorder. At the time, I didn’t have the language for it, and I spent a long time in denial. Looking back, I can see how everything was connected, but in the moment, it just felt like I was failing over and over again.

For years, I felt stuck in cycles I didn’t understand and couldn’t break. It was exhausting, both mentally and emotionally, constantly trying to figure out why things felt so difficult when others seemed to cope more easily.

Then, ten years later, I was diagnosed with ADHD. That diagnosis changed everything. When I began treatment, something finally clicked into place. For the first time, I started to understand my thoughts, my behaviours, and the patterns that had shaped so much of my life. Things that once felt chaotic and overwhelming began to make sense.

Since then, I’ve been learning what balance looks like for me. I’ve worked on my self-worth, my mindset, and how I speak to myself. I’ve spent time unlearning old beliefs and building healthier ones. It hasn’t been a straight path, but it has been a meaningful one.

For the first time in over 20 years, I feel like I have a more stable and compassionate relationship with myself. I’m able to be present in moments that I used to find difficult. I can connect with people in a way I once only hoped for. Everyday experiences that once felt out of reach now feel possible.

I’m proud of how far I’ve come. I’ve faced multiple challenges, including both anorexia and binge eating disorder, alongside bipolar disorder and ADHD. Each one has shaped my journey, but none of them define who I am.

One of the most important things I’ve learned is not to feel ashamed of my story. For a long time, I carried that shame in silence. Now, I see my experiences differently. They are part of me, but they are not all of me. And if sharing my story helps even one person feel less alone, then it’s worth it.

Recovery isn’t always straightforward, and it doesn’t look the same for everyone. But it is possible. And sometimes, finding the right support and understanding can change everything.