My only regret about treatment is that I didn’t access it sooner

I’ve struggled with my mental health for most of my life but didn’t see it as that. I always believed I was just ‘too sensitive’, ‘too emotional’ and needed to ‘get a thicker skin’.

I thought self-help, faith practices and other informal methods of support were enough to help me change myself so life wouldn’t affect me so much. Although these things helped me to survive and build resilience, it wasn’t until I reached breaking point, went to my GP and found myself in a group therapy programme, that I realised this was exactly what I’d needed for many years.

My only regret about treatment is that I didn’t access it sooner.

I had preconceived ideas about it, was afraid to be officially labelled with a mental illness and whenever I felt bad and considered reaching out, I would draw on my resilience and ‘get myself together’ because, “Anny, you’re stronger than you think” - a phrase that although probably true, still bothers me a lot.

I’m so thankful that I had the opportunity to have treatment - it was mind and life changing because…

• It was a relief to know that there were other people like me who understood completely and had shared experiences. The isolation and shame associated with my behaviours disappeared in a group where everyone was having the same challenge. It made it easier to focus on getting better.
• It was the first time I dedicated time to facing the real issue of bingeing rather than falling into the old cycle of starting another diet.
• Although it pressed deep parts within, it was a lot more practical than I thought it would be and I always came away with practical actions I could start implementing in my life. These have been key to my recovery.
• The diagnosis and referral for treatment gave me the confidence to request adjustments at work and open up to receive support from trusted friends and family.

I understand the fears, barriers and hesitation to reach out for treatment, but it truly helps recovery. I had never even considered that an eating disorder was what I was dealing with, but the way I was treated by my GP was how I ended up getting treatment and recovering. That’s why I’m now committed to advocate for more awareness and access to treatment. I’m also keen to support research and ensure that the treatment being provided is consistent and meets the needs of the diverse communities it serves.

Treatment isn’t a quick fix, and recovery, even after binges stop, isn’t linear or easy. However, the practical tools and strategies I learned in therapy have given me the confidence to know that I am equipped with what I need to continue taking one step at a time, one day at a time.

Contributed by Anny.

Anny is an Author and blogs about her recovery at thefatuglyblog.com