I just looked ‘Mother’ up in the dictionary and it’s described using three words: ‘a female parent’. This is indeed true, but these are not the three words I would use to describe my mother. The three words I would use are these: ‘my biggest support.’ You see, my mother has been my source of strength for my fight against anorexia, and without her I fear that I would not be here today!
Having anorexia is a journey and at every step I’ve taken with this illness, my mother has been there. It was her who pushed me to seek help from the doctor when I’d buried my head in the sand. I was at a very low weight and I would have continued in a downward trend if she hadn’t stepped in with her motherly concern. I now fear for what would have become of me if this hadn’t have happened, if she hadn’t have pushed me to seek help!
Then came the hardest journey, the one I’m dealing with now: recovery. She’s been selfless with me! She’s carted me about when the doctors took away my driving licence, driving me to countless appointments every week with various health professionals. She held my hand when I got medical results that I really dreadfully didn’t want to hear about. And then there’s the many tears I’ve cried about my life, my fears and my loneliness. It was my mother who was there wiping my eyes and encouraging me to go on, to fight for myself and against this illness.
It is her selflessness and motherly love that has been the reason I want to fight anorexia and strive for recovery. None of the horror stories or facts about anorexia has budged my judgement into recovery. It wasn’t the knowledge of soon developing even weaker bones, becoming infertile and continuing to lose my hair. It was the realisation that my anorexia was affecting her as much as me, and I didn’t want this for us anymore! I didn’t want our relationship to have the unwanted attachment of anorexia anymore! Even more so, I didn’t want to subject this kind-hearted, selfless lady through this horrible journey anymore. No mother should have to see her daughter torture herself like this. So I realised I need to fight! Fight as she’s fought and supported me for all my life.
So my mother is really so more than ‘a female parent’, she is ‘my biggest support’ and maybe even more importantly ‘a life saver!’