Anorexia was never intended, never wanted and never fully understood. Yet in the September of my second year at university, I somehow found myself being taken on by an intensive outpatient treatment team.
I was confused and lost. Why me? There’s nothing wrong; how has it come to this? Who have I become? were just some of the questions I had.
18 months on from this moment, I want to share some of what I have learnt in recovery so far. Firstly, I want to say that YES, I am in a better place than 18 months ago, but NO, I am not recovered, and it has not been an easy journey to where I am now. I want to, however, write this post in the hope of encouraging others who may feel lost and stuck as well as raising awareness of the depth of the struggles beneath what is visible in an “anorexic”.
My top ten recovery tips:
In summary, no matter how you feel or view yourself, or how lost or stuck you feel, know that you are not a mess, and you are loved for who you are. Recovery is not a straightforward process, but it is a journey you are capable of and that has a beautiful destination. For me, I enjoy hearing my mum now say: “It’s like I’ve got my daughter back again.”
That’s a bit about my journey and what I have learnt so far. I’m still recovering from anorexia, but I see the hope in the future. Do you, too?
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In the past I’ve wanted to hide the eating disorders that are part of my history, but I want to shout from the rooftops: I'm proud of how far I had come!
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