It’s okay if all I did in a day was survive

Posted 03/10/2018

The evident stigma that’s often associated with mental health increases my passion towards trying to eradicate it and show how mental health is actually something that should not be trivialised. Additionally, I aspire to emphasise awareness of the importance of being compassionate towards yourself during recovery, to not judge your past battles and to not feel ashamed of your struggles. 

Below is the letter I wrote to myself, which I often read during tougher days to remind me that it’s okay to not be okay, but also that I am strong for surviving the battles of my past. I thought others might potentially find this idea beneficial and could write a note to themselves that they read to remind them that they are valuable also. 

“Dear Self,

It’s understandable that I have felt lost during this life I am currently living. The bridges that guide me have often collapsed, which results in me descending into internal passivity. It’s understandable that I have developed these struggles as an outcome to all the grief, anguish, social affliction and personal traumas I have been exposed to. And there’s no doubt that this has left me to be victimised by my own psychological oppressions. 

In the past I have coped by mutilating myself as a means to numb or dampen down the dejection I seemed to not be able to escape from. But I also deprived my body of nourishment due to it having a destined fatality. However, as a result to this I have had to learn from the consequences this led to, such as me being detained in a psychiatric unit, but also how it put strain on my family’s relationship with each other. 

Through my moments of fragility, I have learned to embrace my past and see it as a significant battle I am surviving. My compassionate self would remind me of how “life is like a camera so focus on the best bits; capture the good times, see things from different viewpoints, develop from the negatives and if things don’t turn out well, take another shot”.

I have evolved as a person through my experiences. I am proud of my resilience, of not giving up, and proud of my insight to life I have been enlightened to, which helps me to empathise with others. Despite everything that’s happened, my family’s loyalty and support truly kept me afloat, and I am so grateful for the faith they have in me and have had in me continuously. 

Some days I will feel vulnerable and have blips, but I know that these are not setbacks. Recovery isn’t linear, and it’s okay if all I did in a day was survive. After all, even the worst days only have 24 hours. 

Keep fighting, allow yourself to blossom and never forget how valuable you are. 

All my love,

Katie xx”