When anorexia takes over your life, there is not much space for anything else. The smaller you get, the more happiness, love, and joy disappear. Leaving a void filled with strict rules, fear, and pain. When you are in the middle of the spiral it is difficult to imagine how to get out, how to be happy again. It is difficult, but not impossible. When I started my recovery journey I couldn’t see long term plans, a future, or the prospect of having positive feelings back. It is a very scary place to be in, but the prospect of having anorexia looming over your shoulder is ever worst.
One thing that I found most helpful while starting my recovery was the realisation that, despite I didn’t know what the future had in front of me, I didn’t want to be in the dark anymore. Anorexia was trying to convince me that a future without her would be full of reject, from loved ones and society, pain, and uncertainty. However, I knew that keeping anorexia meant the chance of not having a future at all.
This was my mantra for many months at the beginning of the year. I would like to share a few points that helped me during recovery:
Contributed by Samantha