An eating disorder is never easy. Recovering from an eating disorder is never easy either, but don’t ever let it get you down. You’re not weak, so don’t let your eating disorder tell you differently.
I’m not going to lie and tell you recovery is a linear process because it’s not, it’s far from it, it’s a rollercoaster of ups and downs. You may get stuck, you may relapse, you may not like what’s being said to you but the people on the outside aren’t enemies, the only enemy is the voice of eating disorder inside you. Please don’t ignore it or dismiss it or try denying it and hope it’ll go away on its own because it won’t.
If you’ve just started receiving help, or are in the process of looking for help, I just want to say a well done! Admitting you need help is the first big step. It may seem scary and uncomfortable at first, but it’s worth it in the end. Don’t give up – it may get worse before it gets better, but to be able to regain your life back and fight for freedom again is the best feeling ever. I promise you won’t look back. Your eating disorder is not you – you don’t deserve it and it doesn’t deserve you.
I promise you one day there will be more good days than bad days. There will be a day where you don’t need to get on those scales to check you’ve lost weight; there will be a day where you’re comfortable in more than just clothing that hides everything. There will be a day where you’re happy with how you look and you’ll be able to eat the foods you’ve been scared of eating; there will be day where counting calories isn’t a necessity. There will be a day where you’re proud of how far you’ve come, and everyone else around you is also proud of you.
Everyone’s recovery is different though. Please don’t compare your recovery with someone else’s – remember, there will be good and bad days. Sometimes you’ll be able to take big steps and sometimes only baby steps, and that’s okay.
It will get easier. There is someone that will listen to you and understand you and will do everything they can to support you. Even if it sounds harsh, they do it because they care and want the best for you and want you to get better. You won’t be judged; they won’t be ashamed of you, so don’t be scared to say what’s on your mind.
You’ll get stronger. You’ll learn to love yourself again.