The old me

Posted 01/10/2018

I seem to have lost the old me,
Forgotten the woman I used to be,
I used to be brave, I used to be strong,
When and how did things go so wrong?
The end of this nightmare I fail to see.


I seem to have lost the old me,
The person I was I can no longer see,
I’m scared, I’m frightened,
And all my anxieties are heightened,
I need to escape, I silently plea.


I seem to have lost the old me,
I’m screaming for help, I’m on my knees,
I’m tired of searching and looking for answers,
Damaging myself, this illness spreads like cancer, 
Perhaps it would be easier if I cease to be.


I seem to have lost the old me,
I’m desperate to escape and be free,
But where to start and admit I’m unwell,
Who can I trust and who will listen if I tell,
Perhaps I should just cease to be.


I seem to have lost the old me,
I struggle to eat a simple tea,
Will anyone understand or care,
And not judge when my secret I choose to share,
Thoughts buzz around my head like a bee.


I’m trying to find the old me,
Please help, wrap your arms tight around me,
I might push you away and pretend I don’t need you,
But you know deep down, this simply isn’t true,
Be patient, my love, have belief in me.


She’s gone, the person I used to be,
But there’s someone new, and it’s still me,
I’m scarred and damaged and I’ve changed,
New me and old me are now estranged,
I’ve found the answer, I have the key.


My life starts again, hello new me,
I want to survive, I want to be,
My demon is still there, still shouting insults,
But she’s failing, not achieving the results,
I’m winning, I’m sure you will agree.

Contributed by Fiona